“I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.“
When I met you in the restaurant
You could tell I was no debutante
You asked me what’s my pleasure
A movie or a measure?
I’ll have a cup of tea and tell you of my dreaming
Dreaming is free….
And that’s exactly what I did a lot of this past weekend…dream. I stayed home most of the weekend and relaxed and did some errands here and there and lavished myself with beautiful fragrances and basically, Rachel time. I thought quite a bit about life; past experiences and how they affect me now….
And my friends, my beautiful lovely friends who called me to check up on me…thank you.
I did go out Friday night with my coworkers to bid a good one goodbye, JP, we’ll miss you! (And I’ll miss you’re Vulcan blood drink aka green juice you’d bring me!)…fun times. Basically, I ended up in a cab home deciding that the rest of the weekend was going to be low-key and not to let anything or anyone get in the way of that lovely choice.
I got home and ended up working on the song I had been trying to find within myself for awhile now. When I went back to take a peek at what I had written; I actually enjoyed it. I was able to express what I has been trying to say and felt relieved…..
Now I have to strum a tune to go with it.
No wonder Charles Bukowski drank so much, it’s surprising how easy it is to explain your emotions when you have had a bit of that lovely liquid they call “truth juice”.
Staying home most of the weekend entitled me to set up a work out routine: dancing. Yes, dancing is the best workout for me as I hate to admit it but I am not someone who enjoys going to the gym. Though, if I do end up at one, I work out continuously for 3 hours and then don’t return to the gym for another 6 months, even if I had ended up hanging out with the trainers and making appointments.
Alas, at home this weekend and in my bedroom; I twisted, twirled, spun, waltzed and basically danced myself into a frenzy for hours on end. At the end of it: I was relaxed and decided to make myself this delicious lunch to re-energize myself with:
Saturday night, my dear friend Carol rang me up on the telephone and mentioned that she had picked up a bunch of amazing vintage clothes for me. Some of them were hers previously and some just bought at Black Bear, our new favorite vintage shop in Park Slope. She came over that evening and watched as I excitedly tried on a few of the new items: not wanting to take off the 40′s vintage black sheer dress she had given me. After she left, I waltzed in it and twirled myself around the room feeling like I was living in the movie: Sunset Boulevard. Thank you Carol! (My new favorite is the Givenchy blue mod dress)!
Robyn invited me over to her place, as she is also one of my lovely and close friends for a cheer up: but I knew I needed my alone time. (love to you and Jessy!)
I wrote some more: chatted a bit online to some friends I haven’t seen and thought a lot about my future….
Cherish these nights, they do not occur to often.
On Sunday, I awoke to a beautiful Sunny day and got dressed and ready for some shopping in Cobble Hill. As I knew I was going to be going to my brother’s later that day with the kitten that he and his wife had adopted from Jacquelyn and I.
Of course, as I arrive at Borough Hall I end up running right to Perelandra (as it just so happens to bemy favorite health food store in the city) and grab a Grape Chia Kombucha for lunch as I really did not have much of an appetite. After hanging at Perelandra for a while and impulsively picking up a few extra beauty supplies to indulge myself in later I walked out with my head held high and wandered down a few blocks to American apparel and bought a purse. Ah, retail therapy.. sometimes it is just needed to take your mind off of things.
I never met him, I’ll never forget him….
While taking in one of my favorite neighborhoods in the city and giggling at texts I was receiving from Diana, my “Sissy”, I nearly bumped right into my favorite twin brothers, Dan (The Ethical Man) & his twin brother, Matt. Funny enough, I had emailed Matt’s girlfriend just an hour earlier to ask her to have dinner with me soon. Fate works in mysterious ways because right at that moment, I really did need my friends and there they were; right in front of me, laughing because there I was: giggling and wandering aimlessly down the street not even looking up…until I saw their bright smiles. We all hung out for a bit on Court Street, taking in the sun and speaking about their new project:cllctv.com (Collective) and their rock band: Here.
This was indeed turning into another beautiful day. I went up to my brothers and we hung out with the new kitten into the night, and sat down to a cozy Thai dinner. It;s become a tradition for us to spend time together again and I appreciate every moment of it.
After leaving I made a stop at Trader Joe’s and bought some groceries and ran over to Barnes & Noble to check out some new books. I love Barnes & Noble, and somehow just the smell of books up-lifts me and I usually walk out of there with another 2 books in hand; this time I was good, but I think I will be stopping there later on today, as well as The Strand.
Today as in Monday:
Dream dream, even for a little while
Dream dream, filling up an idle hour
Fade away, radiate….
I didn’t sleep very well the night before and actually ended up waking up at 5 am, but when my alarm awoke me with its “80s”-like alarm, and it said 6:20, I pulled myself up and out from under my soft sheets and into the loo to get ready for the day.
I chose a simple vintage pencil velvet skirt and a J-Crew shirt that my friend S has given me as a gift. (Hugs lady!)
I sit by and watch the river flow
I sit by and watch the traffic go
Imagine something of your very own
Something you can have and hold…
Snapping this as I walked on over to my favorite lunchtime treat: NY Dosa Man, an all vegan dosa cart located near on the south side of Washington Square Park . I swear he knows exactly what to send my way! Food always makes me a happy lady.
Though I guess I am looking pretty serious in this picture: I also take my lunch seriously.
I’d build a road in gold just to have some dreaming
Dreaming is free
Dreaming is free
Dreaming is free….
And that is just what I will do: continue to dream….into reality.
I bid you farewell till tomorrow’s entry…xo.
Personne n’est comme toi,
J’en suis témoin.
Personne n’est comme toi, sauve-moi.
Et prends ma main.
The above first few lyrics are from actually, one of my favorite French bands, yes….I love French music. I absolutely adore Autour De Lucie, which is a band I found when in 2001 I walked into Virgin Mega Store which was located in Union Square and right into the World Music section, grabbed every French cd I can find knowing I’d be well on my way to visit.
I became instantly fond of this band and this song (and Immobile) and still listen to it often as I dance or sing to it walking down the street.
So if you see that crazy girl singing some french song out of tune while walking down Broadway: it’s me.
In keeping the honor of my Bunny Week (I started the week off wearing a shirt with hundreds of little bunnies on it..) I decided to wear one of the shirts I have had since my Dublin days. I bought this shirt in a market place that I frequented at a boutique named Lili. Ah, I miss that city.
Qu’importe le temps… que ça durera.
Qu’importe le temps… si c’est avec toi.
The reason why I really think I wore this shirt today is because it’s the kind of weather that reminds me of London(or Dublin, or Scotland..) Not terribly cold but still raining. I just want to take off my jacket and run through the streets, letting the rain-soaked wind guide me, throwing my hands in the air and let go….just…be…free.
This won’t occur because reality tends to hit you in the face and you are left soaked and with the shivers.
Qu’importe comment, qu’importe pourquoi, qu’importe le temps… que ça durera.
Qu’importe comment (Personne n’est comme toi…),
Qu’importe le temps (Personne n’est comme toi…)… si c’est avec toi.
Moon River, wider than a mile,
I’m crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you’re going I’m going your way.
One of my favorite songs sung by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I won’t even bother mentioning that this is a favorite movie of mine because it isn’t, it’s not even my favorite: it can’t be on the list. It’s an ICONIC movie of mine. I once had a cat named…”Cat”, I wear black shift dresses and my friend Tanya’s nickname for me will always be “Audrey”…..
Growing up I would watch anything that Audrey had acted in because her natural sweet spirit, and sing-song voice and beautiful grace. She was a woman of honor as she would donate to Childline and other charities across the world and throughout her life. She would volunteer her free time to helping others and this is in fact what I wanted from life in the long run: a life of giving, care and empathy.
At one point when I was taking french in high school, we watched Sabrina (amongst many other films, of course) and this became a life changing event. I decided right then that I would be running to France as soon as I can and basically chop my hair off and become beautiful. Why do I say this? Because when I was a freshman in high school I had long hair, glasses (wait I still have long hair and wear glasses occasionally!), and basically had very low self-esteem. I would look in the mirror and over analyze my reflection staring back at me. I would hide underneath large shirts and jeans and not want to show off any sort of youthful beauty I may have had and would feel isolated. What I didn’t know is what beauty really is and that’s what we find during our youthful years, isn’t it?
Why are teenagers so impressionable? I needed something to inspire me to want to step beyond this teenage angst and I watched Sabrina which opened my eyes to a fairy tale of beauty as she returns from Paris growing there from a young girl into a charming elegant lady. Her hair cut short into a pixie cut and rouged lips perfectly penciled in. After seeing this movie I did a modeling gig for Bumble & Bumble in which guess what they did without my even mentioning it? They chopped my very long hair into a short pixie, placed sunglasses in my hand and instructed me on a few tips for the future. I didn’t know what my future may bring but I did know that one day, I would be in Paris. But even more so, I promised that I wouldn’t lose track of my virtues. I will be a strong woman and not base my life on looks or glances but on poise. She broke free of the restraints of innocence and let go, and like her, I did this too.
At 18, I was given a book written by Anais Nin, but I will write a post on her another time. Explore.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There’s such a lot of world to see.
We’re after the same rainbow’s end–
Why am I bringing this up? Well last night, I went to my friend Joy’s show at Rockwood Music Hall. Joy Askew is not only a friend of mine that I appreciate dearly but she is also a talented and inspirational artist with heartfelt lyrics. She described a story last night about her cat and her house in France and how everyday there would be a bit of sun shining through the bathroom at the same time each day and there lay the cat, bathing in the rays. Maybe just how she explains stories and or her melodic voice: it ceased me. How amazing life is that we sometimes have routine and there lay this serene sentient being everyday at the same time for his nap. Peaceful….
Life is beautiful. Just seize it, take it, make out with it for all I care but definitely move forward with all your passions. Sometimes we need peaceful breaks like Joy taking a holiday to France to enjoy her lovely farmhouse with her cats to inspire us and bring us back to our dreams. As I was talking to people at the show and after and reflecting on the people I choose to keep in my life, I realized that you can always achieve the dreams you have. Like Sabrina, go for it. Like me, live it as this is reality and you only get one chance right now, this lifetime anyway.
waiting ’round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.
I have to mention though: I am not a Tiffany’s “girl”. I live on my thrift, vintage and whatever else I find recycled and enjoy this matter-of-factually. I may love style and elegance but you know what I find perfect? Sentiments.
C’est la vie!